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Need to be more productive, I've not posted anything on here in far too long!
  • Listening to: Amon Tobin
  • Reading: The Metro
  • Watching: True Blood
  • Playing: with fire
  • Eating: BBQ
  • Drinking: Too much
An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle,
but it will never break
  • Listening to: Bonobo
  • Reading: the london paper
  • Playing: with fire
  • Eating: BBQ
  • Drinking: Too much
I am that timeless NGH that swings on pendulums like vines through mines of booby trapped minds that are enslaved by time. I am the life that supersedes lifetimes, I am. It was me with serpentine hair and a timeless stare that with a mortal glare turned mortal fear into stone time capsules. They still exist as the walking dead. As I do, the original suffer-head, symbol of life and matriarchy's severed head: Medusa, I am. It was me, the ecclesiastical one, that pointed out that there was nothing new under the sun. and in times of laughter and times of tears, saw that no times were real times, 'cause all times were fear. The wise seer, Solomon, I am. It was me with tattered clothes that made you scatter as you shuffled past me on the street. Yes, you shuffled past me on the street as I stood there conversing with wind blown spirits. And I fear it's your loss that you didn't stop and talk to me. I could have told you your future as I explained your present, but instead, I'm the homeless schizophrenic that you resent for being aimless. The in-tuned nameless, I am. I am that NGH. I am that NGH. I am that NGH. I am a negro. Yes, negro from necro, meaning death. I overcame it so they named me after it. And I be spitting at death from behind and putting "kick me" signs on it's back, because, I am not the son of Sha Clack Clack . I am before that. I am before. I am before before. Before death is eternity. After death is eternity. There is no death there's only eternity. And I be ridin' on the wings of eternity, like yah, yah, Sha Clack Clack.

-Saul Williams
  • Listening to: Lou Rhodes, Saul williams, Amon Tobin
  • Reading: whatever i can get my hands on
  • Watching: my weight
  • Playing: the fool
  • Eating: better
  • Drinking: too much
...the freeze frames keep him warm...
  • Listening to: Rosewest
  • Reading: you
  • Watching: me
  • Playing: with our new drum machine
  • Eating: not enough
  • Drinking: too much
it arrived yesterday! whooooo!
*does happy dance*
  • Listening to: Rosewest
  • Reading: The search for dice man
  • Watching: you
  • Playing: with myself
  • Eating: chocolate
  • Drinking: orange juice
getting a mamiya RB67 medium format camera?!

things are not ever going to be the same
  • Listening to: Rosewest
  • Reading: The dice man again i liked it so much
  • Watching: you
  • Playing: with myself
  • Eating: fatty foods (yum!)
  • Drinking: too much
Basically I'm complicated
I have a hard time taking the easy way
I wouldn't call it schizophrenia
But I'll be at least 2 people today

If that's okay

And I can go on and on and on... but who cares?

It's deep how you can be so shallow
And I'm afraid cause I have no fear
And I didn't believe in magic
Until I watched you disappear

I wish you where here

And I can go on and on and on... but who cares?

You see, everybody is somebody
But nobody wants to be themselves
and If I ever wanted to understand me
I'll have to talk to someone else

Cause every little bit helps

And I can go on and on and on... but who cares?

Feels like... the surreal life
But it's still nice
Wish I could live twice
but I still might
if these bones heal right
I see a little light
though it's still night

Feels like... surreal like
But its still nice
Wish I could live twice
but I still might
if these bones heal right
I see a little light
though it's still night

And I can go on and on and on... but who cares?

And I can go on and on and on... but who cares?

-Gnarls Barkley
  • Listening to: Rosewest
  • Reading: The dice man
  • Watching: the secret policemans ball
  • Drinking: too much
Theres so many things that we miss in our everyday lives
Were so busy hustling, bustling chasing far away dreams
We forget the little things
Like blue skies, green eyes and our babies growing
Like rainbows, fresh snow and the smell of summer
We forget to live.

Give us eyes like children so we live each day as others
Were so sure we know so much that we forget to listen
Then we wander freckle faced
Like cheep thrills bad spill and constant consumption
Like tv, cds and cars that speak our names
We forget to live.

going back to college in a couple of days so keep an eye out for some new work, who knows it may even actually be some good!

Sage francis is G.O.D

Thu Aug 3, 2006, 5:30 AM
Sage Francis - Hopeless

I played connect the dots with your beauty marks
And I ended up with picture perfect sheet music
I read your musical notes with a composer's eyes
And heard our song for the first time
My spine is still tingling,
mental images of your fine tune
is what I've been nodding my head to lately
Every now and then you can catch me humming
your nudity under my heavy breath
I heavily suggest
you resurrect
your ancient neglected dust collector
If you distrust the distance in my seldom plucked heart strings
Sit stripped before your full length
Perform your reflection backwards
Maybe then you will understand the
rhythm in my movement
Listen when the news is sent
Extend when the rules are bent
I'll be waiting to take your leave
Make me a victim of your two step
Make me an apprentice of your body parts
Teach me to dance to your beauty marks
I'm stepping on toes here and I don't care
It's hopeless,
it's hopeless
It's hopelessness holding this openess to blow a kiss
So close your lips but don't get pissed
and throw a fist at this vocalist
I'm not emotionless,
in fact I broke my wrist
when I wrote the list of all those I miss
This is my poker face,
Mister Feel Nothing

I Keep Calling

Pick up, Pick up...Pick up, Pick up...

Now I can't even think back.
Self-induced amnesia has made its impact
Mental health
produced at leisure was frayed once it was intact
I voluntarily refuse to remenisce
If I could choose any wish...I'd lose my genesis
And prove to my nemesis
that I don't need Memory Lane on my way home
But I got lost and I needed a pay phone
Because I was in an unsafe zone...inside of a place unknown
Where unfamilliar faces roam (...and it's so strange)...
I've got no change...I could've sworn that I did when I left
My breath gets heavy with every lie and theft
I looked right and left...then I called people at my home collect
To tell them, "Things changed." But they just won't accept
I'm out of range...with no respect.
Every time I asked for directions
All I got was dead ai, cut lines, and bad connections
People who would hello changed their number to unlisted
411 info left me unassisted.
Is it coincidence? I choose to think so
Deep in thought, my eyes blink slow.
Pictures appear like slide shows
My mind knows each and every single detail
Total recall is leaving me pale
Sick to my stomach...nautious...forces of nature bring my homing instinct

Its so let me think...a minute

epiphany: This is the much traveled trail from my past
Now an unbeaten path...unfunny memories are now making me

Haaaaaa! The flashbacks of my past acts are numerous
Since out the uterus...Earth encounters ain't been that humerous laugh lines have been faked for the last time
I'm past my prime.
Climaxing again is a task of mine
I'm homeward bound.
Break out the map and atlas
I ask gas station attendants...and they just act pissed
I'm black listed...for not staying true to white lies
I fight darkness...heartless...until the night dies
Then I shed some light on what's the matter
Reflections in the looking glass self scatter when the hard stares make it shatter
7 years bad luck?
Time's irrelevant  I'm searching for signs of intelligent minds,
but find the element Which blinds what
the hell I think. Now I'm thinking...
"What time is it?"
I see the 12:00 blinking
Check the position...of the see there is none
I figure there's an I look away to save my wisdom
The solar system left me stranded in a universe
Where I do reverse
Apologies are made through my verse
Ain't nothing to do but curse when I'm frustrated
Making people disgusted.
Plus, I'm mistrusted and hated
That's an understatement, but who really cares about my
failure years?
I'm on an expedition...following my trail of tears
From when I cried, dried up...and
I played your game, so where's my consalation prize?
I'm taking lies from faking guys...and gals...who want to be my pals...and peers
At this here pace, it'll take me a thousand years
To fines my way back...encompassing what they lack
It cost me most of my life, but still I'm thinking about a pay back

Decapitated...I lost my head, and fear is activated
I'm in a fog. My blood, sweat and tears evaporated
I back track to find my lost sense of direction
and listen...before I cross the intersection
There's much construction. I'm signaled with morse code
to take a detour. Somehow I end up on an off road
I squint my eyes...trying to find some street signs
I can only read strong thoughts. These people have weak minds
Trapped in a desert that to me looks like a sandbox
With damn NARCS...
hold up, son...I'm noticing some landmarks
I rack my brain...knowing that I can't attack in vane
Upon return I promised myself not to act the same
But every so often my selective screen memory...will be my enemy
Metamorphasize and say, "Remember me?"
Getting me
petro...wish I could kill the retro
But heck much of my past I just can't let go
I'm just a stone's throw away from my home turf...
which really is this whole earth
But claims like that have no worth

epiphany: And then it hits me...the reason why I'm dizzy

Is because I've been traveling in circles keeping
myself busy.
(Where is he?)


They've said it every year but this times it seems like
The end is near and i'm in line to see the light
How far does this black tunnel go?
I got a car but the gas is running low
And as long as i've known the bumps and creeks of this house
It's starting to make the typesof sounds that only comes from people's mouths
You cant tell me it's still settling
Built on an indian burial ground killing everything
The childhood scar on my chin is back again
That old jump over my own leg dance move has to end
I've seen better days in my night terrors
I was a bike messenger without a bike and i would write letters
Ask directions TO YOUR whereabouts
Before the slow walk the rest of the show-offs were pealing out
To many hares only one TORTOISE
Thats why I left this city, toO fast paced for this HO-HUM TOURIST
By the time i developed the pictures
They're as blurry as my memory of constant life fixtures
If distance is a girl's best friend
Tell them bitches in the rough who think that love comes with DIAMONDS
Slave labor,
you made
me work for what I couldnt have
Diamonds cut,
BUT cole burns and nothing lasts forever
wonder why I bothered saving any of your letters,
they're just aged paper...
Slave labour,
you made me work for what I couldnt have
Diamonds cut, the cole burns and nothing lasts
Wonder why I saved your urn of ashes

I've got
an insecurity box for your mail
Tracing the name on the return adress as if it was made of braille
Pretended it was your finger but careful to not break a nail
The one that sealed the coffin shut. When it opened caused a paper trail
But since then I buried your dead sea scrolls
And emptied my head of these old trivial memories that i seem to hold
Now you're a foot note with cement shoes
In case you wonder what that sinking feeling has been ever since I left
  • Listening to: Destiny - Technical Itch
  • Reading: Requiem for a Dream
  • Watching: waiting for a scanner darly to come out!

Some poems

Sun Jul 16, 2006, 5:57 PM
Nothing has changed.
Except the run of rivers,
The shapes of forests, shores, deserts, and glaciers.
The little soul roams among those landscapes,
disapears, returns, draws near, moves away,
evasive and a stranger to itself,
now sure, now uncertain of its own existance,
whereas the body is and is and is
and has nowhere to go

from 'tortures' by Wislawa Szymborska

"here i am,
and here i'll always be,
who knows about yesterday,
or tomorrow
ya see,
im not religious,
but i live spiritually.
i believe in somethin higher than me.
some call it god,
the devil,
Im here to love not to school ya,
or preach religious bullshit to ya,
all im sayin is believe in somethin than more than what my senses are percieving.
its not somethin achieved when i try,
its somethin outside and within you and I.
its what im breathing,
its when im reading,
its why sometimes i get up and just start leaving,
for no particular reason,
it flows with the seasons,
I feel it when i meditate,
its why my head is straight,
its why i aint dead today.
its living,
its existence,
its forgiving,
its men and women,
its being blind the seeing,
its being,
its here and now in this moment.
its realizing I can do today,
and theres no tomorrow or yesterday..."

-Sage Francis

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

-e.e. Cummings
  • Listening to: The new peeping tom album
  • Reading: are you experienced
  • Watching: waiting for a scanner darly to come out!
Haven't seen too many around lately.
Things have been tough lately for dreamers.
They say dreaming's dead, that no one does it anymore.
It's not dead, it's just been forgotten. Removed from our language.
No one teaches it so no one knows it exists.
The dreamer is banished to obscurity.
Well I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too.
By dreaming every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds. Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced.
So whatever you do, don't be bored.
This is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive. And things are just starting.

(extract from Waking Life THE most amazing film ever)
I'm new improved, with even less to lose
yeah like i have anything interesting to say....
intake ambiance, a tool for meditation.
progressing towards the clouds at with whom i am complete.
defeat the chains that restrain an eager sensation.
equal balance in and out, all inhibitions shall deplete.

i'm trying to break this writer's cramp, massage my hand and day dream,
out the window, innuendo, watch the water find its path down the glass.
it seems erratic direction its only perfection,
rest my head inside my hands, pace back and forth inside my mind.
i wish sometimes i wouldn't reminisce so much,
such things tend to make one reflect and disect situations to an extreme.
hard now to redeem what was there before, no more,
gone are those days and ways have parted,
gone from feeling solid trust to outsmarted.
anyway, i'm now moving on to a distance far from yesterday,
it's best this way, i felt as though i've miss this moment of truth.
outcome uneventful, i've lost the ability to heal sentimental,
i can stare at a puddle and see a million places i love.
it comes from thoughts of places i've been,
places i will never see again,
send my love to all who were there wishing i could crawl back in,
but, i've transformed and the pieces wouldn't fit,
so the sore necks will cease.
eyes searching to the sky to try to find some form some peace,
and i keep pulling up blanks,
yet i'm wearing this mask for the sake of others.
we all miss things, i suppose, i must let go, well i'm not ready.
just let me sit in silence and soak in what's trailing down the window,
to cleanse my emotions, to begin the process of preparing myself.  

i watch the drops join its friends and become one with the crowd,
relating all too well, forcing me to sigh out loud.
look into clouds to envision the inside of my head,
i'm turning leaves at this turning point remembering what they said,
as they drove off one by one, they left, taking pieces of me
until i felt empty inside.
already looking forward to that day when i'd be returning,
and i hadn't even left yet.
from then on, i took the inside-out approach.
your granted lots of time to think when your new position is coach.
and your team is sleeping the whole time,
when it's 2:40 in the morning and you're in the middle of nowhere,
with the buzz of the a.m. radio as the only one that's there.
you think alot about life, it's where it all began for me,
and the more i thought the more i began to clearly see absolutely every aspect of my life in a new light.
i figured out my rubix cube, well i got it somewhat right.
and things are coming together as i slowly come undone,
and the occurance known as it is swept under the rug,
and now my burden ways a ton, but it only makes me stronger,
and i refuse to break. i'm letting things pass by for the family's sake.
just give me a picture of the truth, so i can hold it near,
and watch the rain fall, syncopated with one lonesome tear.

-Alias - The other side of the looking glass
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             you are looking in the wrong place for answers
too much going on all at once
" rollercoster is complete without its ups and downs and although the downs seem deep the highs can lift you to places that you couldnt even imagine..."   -Me (just now)

been back from reading festival for a couple of days now and really wish i could still be there why oh why does it only last a few days? i was just starting to have fun :( ah well i'll just have to wait til next year. met some amazing people this year and realised just how much of a small world it really is so many of my friends know each other even though i really didint think they did its crazy!

been working fucking hard recently mainly to keep my mind ocupied (sp?) but its all been working out pretty well ive noticed a vast improvement in the stuff ive been producing, its always nice to have some fuel fo the fire huh?

anywho cant really think of anything much more to say, its always the way i start to think "i know i'll update my diary" and then cant think of anything interesting to put in it

peace love and all that shizzniz x

to do list

Wed Jul 21, 2004, 5:32 AM
Nothing has changed.
Except the run of rivers,
The shapes of forests, shores, deserts, and glaciers.
The little soul roams among those landscapes,
disapears, returns, draws near, moves away,
evasive and a stranger to itself,
now sure, now uncertain of its own existance,
whereas the body is and is and is
and has nowhere to go

from 'tortures' by Wislawa Szymborska

1. Get a decent job

2. Move away

3. Find a girlfriend


I love you (yes you)
I'll wait for you as long as you need. Or until the stars turn cold and fall from the sky. Whichever comes first.
  • Listening to: Whats wrong with Bill? - Ill Bill
  • Reading: Diary
  • Watching: spiderman2 (I fucking loved it)
i've been up for a stoopid amount of time already this morning, i havent been sleeping to well recentily, been watching dvds since about 4 am.
thinking about getting some more ink done today but the weather is really shitty at the moment so i dont know if i can be bothered to go outside at all today lol we shall see.
ive just seen that ive had 2969 page views! thats far more than i had ever thought i'd get. yay me! Thank you everyone who has been bothered to come look at my stuff i love you all (but some more than others :P) i promise that i'll post something new soon
  • Listening to: listening to old prodigy songs
  • Reading: fugitives and refugees
  • Watching: full metal jacket
i'm happier than ive been for quite a while
  • Listening to: The ghost of tom joad
  • Reading: doing it (dont ever read it its poo!)